JOMO

With gazpacho

You’ve heard of FOMO, (the Fear of Missing Out). I learned the term JOMO last week just in time for my unexpected trip overseas.

Previously on The Muse is In, I explained the result of not paying attention to details when signing up for travel, but here’s a quick synopsis if you’re not in the mood to check:

I didn’t realize the six-day hiking trip to Spain I booked for 2026 was … in 2025, (calendar challenged), which was a week away from the email I had just received from Backroads Active Adventure Travel saying, “Get ready for your trip next week!” [Enter trembling anxiety and an expression harsher than “Golly gosh!”]

Choices:

A. Don’t go because it’s so soon and you’re not in shape, ( thus losing a truckload of money and the dream of hiking in Spain).

Or

B. Galvanize efforts, make plans rapido’, and seize the day. I took B for Barcelona.

“Ready-fire-aim” works swimmingly in the creative sphere because even if we think we aren’t ready, taking a small, crappy step can activate instinct, inspiration, and momentum, setting sail to our writing or art. I use ready-fire-aim with hesitating clients to help them move past avoidance and fear and watched them flourish. I’ve used it myself and consider it one of the main reasons I've accomplished what I have.

However, in this case, the variation on the Ready-Fire-Aim theme was definitely Unready-Fire-Aim because this was not an easy six-day hike I was to embark upon. No small, crappy step would get me in shape in a week for 10 miles a day of level 4 hiking.

My plan had been to get prepared by walking the hilly part of San Diego dailyish for five months. Instead, I walked on an inclined treadmill at the YMCA for five days … with delusional hopes.

The nice thing about this tour company is they offer options. You don’t have to hike every route, it’s just that every route has drop-dead views of mountain vistas, castle strewn valleys, and the turquoise Mediterranean. Not to mention meals and snacks that make your taste buds do somersaults. There’s no way I could do every route, so I was prepared for doing the 3-5 miles in the morning and missing out the second hike each day. What I wasn’t prepared for JOMO: Joy Of Missing Out.

The six other hikers were made up of three couples; I was the only solo traveler which set me apart from the beginning. They hiked fast and talked constantly. They were pleasant enough but being a mindfulness devotee, I wanted to drink in all the senses of this beautiful exotic land I hadn’t seen before… not talk about children back home, the error made the night before by choosing the cod instead of the chicken, and what hike they would do next. I wasn’t there to socialize; I was there to be in awe (and eat fine food). Being in less than stellar hiking condition, I lagged behind but because of that, was in full glory. There was an app that showed the way, so I didn’t get lost. I’d prefer doing the hike without the tour group but I wouldn’t know where to go and meals and accommodations wouldn’t be as convenient; this was the next best thing.

That was the first half of the day. Second half I opted to hang out at the premiere hotels. I had access to the spa, the pool, the beauty of a palatial resort, and … swimming in Mediterranean; something the other hikers wouldn’t have time for. Being a consummate introvert, I was in heaven. I wasn’t missing a thing because I turned off the voice that wanted to tell me I did.

It went on like this for the next five days. I was truly enjoying the amenities of where we were staying: a massage, the gardens at the hotel, walking back from a nearby town up in the Spanish Pyrenees, sitting at a little café painting chickens, and leaving them around for the town people to find and keep.

A few of the hikers mentioned they were envious of my alternate plans which I’m sure had something to do with the glee with which I related them instead of expressing regret for missing out of the spectacles they experienced.

I ‘ve employed JOMO frequently in the past, I just didn’t have the term for it. As a creative person, it’s important to protect my solitude. San Diego is filled with events, classes, and lovely people, but I know me, and if I’m not immersed in my writing or art a good amount of the time, I’ll be cranky.

Thinking differently is the hallmark of being original and creative. JOMO is a creative way of reframing our days and thus excelling at life. There is joy in freeing ourselves from the feeling of missing out, from regretting not socializing, and from wondering if it’s okay to stray away from the myriad of opportunities, hollow habits, and distractions that pull at our attention, and realizing that there is advantage to exactly where we are. With a creative mind, anything is an adventure. If it’s not a natural feeling, it deserves practice by asking, “What would it feel like to feel I’m experiencing joy in exactly what I’m doing?” Your subconscious will rise to the occasion and answer it if you ask enough.

We can see life from many different angles. Finding the one that feels the best is one of the most creative things we can do to find the joy we are not missing out on.

My calves hurt but my head is happy,

Jill

September 28-October 3
Wild Abandon Creativity at the Omega Institute
Do a little travel to the Hudson Valley in September and let’s write and make art with wild abandon among autumn colors and good food.
More info here .